Well, well, well, friends. Here we are, in a downright GLORIOUS time of the year. Welcome.
There are SO many things we love about this month (besides, obviously, the candy):
-That it is now appropriate to eat soup and soup-like foods for most, if not all, your daily meals.
-The sudden haunting or giant-spider infestation of every other house we see.
-The buzz of autumnal excitement bubbling throughout the community contrasted with the simultaneous beginning of literally everyone transitioning into the winter goblin version of themselves.
But what we’re REALLY stoked about is all. the. damn. activities! Here are a few of our favorites. (We’re telling you right now, clear your calendar on 29 October. That day is set to be poppin’.) And, yes, WE KNOW this list doesn’t include haunted houses. Don’t get grumpy. We don’t hate them. We’re just spreading the October-festivity love.
A Night with Ghosts: Haunted Adventures in NW Portland (A Tour You Might Want to Forget)
16 Sep-31 Oct, times vary
For the paranormal investigator in all of us. Deep dive into Portland's supernatural history, reviewing local accounts of ghostly run-ins from various sources and visiting three spirited locations. The ghost of Agnes Reid's son, little Ernest Harp's poltergeist playmate, and the Lady Over the Bar are described as being "less than peaceful," and they're waiting to hang with you. Don't lie. You're curious. Ghosts tour for free.
The Spirit of Halloweentown
17 Sep-31 Oct
Have you seen the movies? No? There are four of them. You’re welcome for the weekend plans. Then go see the town it was set in: St. Helens, OR. Also, it seems some of Twilight was filmed here as well, if that tickles your fancy. Get your ticket to experience their attractions, which include a haunted house, the Sand Island Adventure Water Taxi and Hunt, the new Spirit of Halloweentown Train, and the Pumpkin Puzzle Plaza.
Topaz Farm
01 Oct-31 Oct
Corn mazes have you feeling a little been there, done that? Topaz Farm has a four-acre sunflower maze, as well as u-pick pumpkins and sunflowers! They’re closed on Mondays, so plan accordingly.
Laser Halloween
01 Oct-30 Oct, 12:30 and 4:00 pm
An OMSI laser-light dance party, Halloween edition. Grab the kids, put on the ‘stumes, and get down to some of your favorite terrifying tunes.
Tails of Terror
07-08 Oct, 7:00 pm-9:00 pm
Remember read-aloud story time as a kid? Now make it super spooky and give it a soundtrack. Eerie Webbs (you might know her from her horror-themed “Top 13” YouTube channel Tails of Terror) will be putting on a live show alongside the band The Grave Robbers filled with scary stories sure to thrill and chill you to the bone. Ooooh.
The Giant Pumpkin Regatta
Sunday, 16 Oct, 10:00 am-4:00 pm
A tradition you didn’t know you needed to have. Gather at Tualatin Lake at the Commons to witness 1000-pound pumpkin boats competing in various water races, captained by costumed paddlers. Stay for the myriad pumpkin-themed events. Also, it’s free.
Halloween Candy & Wine Pairing
21-23 October, times vary
Hip Chicks do Wine is getting in the spirit doing what they do best. Recommending wine pairings! This time, of course, they’re offering five wines to go with five candies, because you’ll need something to wash down all the trick-or-treating loot you know you’ll be pilfering from the kids. They’ll also be sampling their Seasonal Witches Brew Sangria. Delightful.
Reservations are strongly recommended, and they have to-go kits available for pick-up or delivery if you’re more of an at-home-in-your-jammies kind of sampler.
Portland Oddities & Curiosities Expo
Saturday, 22 Oct, 10:00 am-6:00 pm
Love the spooky? The occult? The just plain weird? Wish people walked into your house and went silent for a moment, quietly wondering if you were distantly related to the Addams family? Then this is your spot. For one day out of the year, small businesses, artists, dealers, and vendors specializing in making you look twice gather at the Convention Center to showcase their wares and haunt your dreams. It’s an all-day event. The second you think you’ve seen it all, something even stranger will catch your eye and pull you back in.
Run Like Hell Marathon
Saturday, 29 Oct, 8:00 am-12:30 pm
Get dressed up (this year’s theme is retro video games) and then… run like hell. Kid’s have their own race in the morning, and there’s a costume contest and beer at the end (note: the beer is for the adults).
Killer Pumpkin Festival
Saturday, 29 October, 12:00 pm-11:00 pm
It’s a free event! Kids can come! It benefits UKANDU! There will be storytelling. There will be pumpkin beer (and non-alcoholic delights as well). There will be AX THROWING. THERE WILL BE PUMPKIN SMASHING. And of course, costume contests. Come for a one-size-fits-all good time and good cause.
2022 Thrill the World Portland
Saturday, 29 October, 3:00 pm
CALLING ALL ZOMBIES (or really, anyone who’s ever dreamt of performing the “Thriller” dance knowing there was a literal globeful of people grooving right alongside you). This is your moment. Dress up to let your inner undead out and join the group in Irving Park as part of a synchronous global dance. Cheering is obvi an acceptable alternative if dancing isn’t your thing. You know it’s thriller night. (Plus, the only charge for entry is a hankering for a good time.)
Not in the mood for pumpkins or scares? Portland Arbor Day, a day to plant trees and get involved with tree care, is Saturday, 29 October, from 10:00 am-1:00 pm, and lots of farms, such as Smith Berry Barn and Douglas Farm are coming into their fall u-pick availability!
Get the haunts while they're hot, y'all.
And listen, we’re not trying to tell you how to live your life, we’re just saying October has arrived, and that means every day requires you leave the house in costume. It’s not weird.